You grow up being taught that if you’re honest and true to yourself and do right by others, things will work out for you in the long run. Give out good get back good. Bullshit! I think I have finally learned that most people will use you, hurt you, pretty much everything you fear. At least that seems to be the case for me. I am apparently the very worst judge of character and the poorer the choice the more I will love them and the more they will mean to me and the more it will hurt. I am done trying. Think I am pretty much done period.
What a fucked up day! Started off so good… I really got a chance to wrap up so many major projects at work…my pieces of them anyway…it was going so well then…..Day off tomorrow… gone! Got a meeting with an out of state visitor….. then the whole system at work comes crashing down… nice 12 hour day. Eeeeeekk… whoever it is please please put the chicken bones away.
Tired… going to bed… maybe bringing the duck.
Got up this morning watered my plants, had some coffee and put my lazy ass outside to clean up my front garden. It started off chilly and windy but turned into a beautiful day. I got so much done…yeah me! I raked out all the leaves from underneath the hedges, rosebushes, hydrangea..etc. I weeded out almost everything. I pruned all the roses and flowering plants even shaped and trimmed the hedges.
Next week I will work on the backyard and my terrace. I really missed planting last year…I was just so depressed…way too much drama going on at the time. Maybe I can get a head start on my patio some evening this week. I have to remember to pick up peanuts and raisins for the squirrels before I actually plant anything. Yes some people think I am a freak but I why harm an animal whose just looking for food when he’s more than happy to have yummies made accessible, it’s easy enough and they don’t touch my plants.
I think I am going to try propogating one of the roses. It’s a beautiful red and smells fabulous. Haven’t done anything like that in a long time but it usually works out for me so I will give it a shot.
I’m debating cleaning the house now, but Gladiator is on and I’m sucked in plus I still need to formally document my business growth plan for work which is due tomorrow and take a shower so I can straighten the locks.
Got my results back from the MRI…well sort of… message in my voice mail…no herniated disc but some arthritis. Have to wait until the weekend is over to actually speak to my doctor. There’s all different types of arthritis and I’ve definitely seen the worst of it with my mom so guess I will just wait and see. I get the pain part but not my legs being numb.
Anyway it’s beautiful day not going to sit here dwelling on something I can do nothing about at the moment… ciao.
My my my… I am having some seriously deep thoughts today…not! I am tired of being responsible and dependable… sometimes it really sucks. I don’t feel like thinking about anything which is why I am playing pogo. Mindless entertainment… love it. I envy that pig.