It’s the day before the 46th hence the selfie post for the pet project and yes I am Rosemary’s baby, for real. The evil is strong. Only experiencing a slight breakdown about it, guess because it’s not a milestone, more like purgatory before the big 50.
Apparently one of the side effects of Graves Disease is appearing younger than you are, between that and good genetics haven’t had to do the Botox yet but soon. My brother doesn’t at all look his age either. Crappy teeth but minimal wrinkles, I’m shallow enough to take it.
So this is really the year it has hit home that there will be no progeny out in the world from me. Although it was never a driving need or truly even more than a slim maybe in the plan, still kind of a sad thing. I think more a case of an opportunity having been lost than any driving maternal instinct. I know with science all things are possible but that doesn’t mean they should be, for me anyway and 45 was the hard cut-off unless God intervenes.
Working, playing, reading too much. I live a very exciting life. Oh and my flowers, aren’t they pretty? There are a lot more but this is the handy pic.
Happy enough, worked very hard the past few years to find a place of zen within myself and have succeeded for the most part. Crazy temper is still there just sleeps later than it used to. Still no happily ever after, but would rather be single than settle. Always been an all or nothing kind of girl and the good thing that comes with age is no one can make me think that’s wrong or doubt myself about it anymore. It was never being “picky” as people liked to say, it was wanting and needing the “I’d burn the world down for you” or taking a pass. Had a grand romance I can smile about when I’m 80, I’m good with that.
And with that I’ve made a post so going to sit here with some coffee and tune back into Being Human (UK version) , S3 Ep4.
If someone besides myself happens upon this I’ll share my birthday wish with you, may whatever you’re wishing for come true.